today is Sunday.
it is 1:13 pm.
i went to church today.
taylor gave me a ride there and back.
i am sitting here eating Costco meatballs and Costco spinach which i stir-fried with garlic. it should taste good but i accidentally put too much oil in the spinach and now i can’t finish my lunch. i wonder if i should find some rice or pasta or some kind of carb to add to my overly greasy spinach. i wonder i wonder i wonder.
today was a good day at church.
i wanted to listen to Pastor Brad.
i wanted to surrender.
like suebee said in her breakthrough post and like Pastor Brad said today, it’s all about the baby steps. i think so often i want God to tap me with his magic wand and transform me completely in an instant, but today i realize that i should not be discouraged by slow and steady growth.
i should not discount God’s power working through me even if it seems like sanctification is taking longer than i want it to.
today, i wanted to surrender because i felt hope.
i felt kindness.
Rosemary told me Jesus loved me. Twiggie overwhelmed me with love as usual and Camille sat next to me and hugged me as the congregation sang Come as You Are. It made me cry, being held.
was this the sign i was asking for a few days ago? perhaps.
hope & kindness
“earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal” [Thomas Moore]
“your kindness leads me to repentance” [Romans 2:4]
so lay down your burdens
lay down your shame
all who are broken
lift up your face
for the first time in a long time, i think i want to lift up my face. i think i want to come home.
because You’ve given me hope when there should be none, because You are good to me and you hold me when i ask You to.
because You are Hope and You are Kindness.