Movie Fast, Oh Dear

ANY Movies, TV shows, entertaining Youtube videos (a.k.a. Nigahiga, WongFu, etc.), yeah.

This fast begins on Sunday, January 18 at 3:16pm and will end after my last final in May. I’m not sure what time or day I will take my last final, but that’s okay.

My witness is dear Dave. Dear Dave is really oily. Clarification: Dear Dave’s keyboard is really oily. Gross. I need to get one of those baby wipes and wipe down baby Dave.

Who will keep me accountable? Anyone and everyone who reads this post. That means Suebee, kris jie jie, Wanna, Eelasor, and Daddy. Oh maybe yeh yeh will read this. If so, him too.

This is going to be hard.

Do you know what the definition of hard is?

The definition of hard is the opposite of easy.

I like easy.

Not doing this fast would be easy.

It would be easy because watching a movie is my way to shut down when I don’t want to face life. It’s my way of turning my brain off when I don’t want to think or work or deal with my problems. When I don’t like myself or the situations I’m dealing with, I exchange my emotions with those of the actors/actresses in the movie I’m watching. It’s ironic that I crave the movies that elicit the most emotion out of me, the ones that make me cry a good cry, in the exact moments I refuse to deal with the emotional tumult inside of me.

As twisted as my logic is, I think it reveals a little of my heart cry to be made new. My soul wants and longs to weep and be broken for the things that break the heart of God. As much as I love to be selfish, I hate being wrapped up in my own world. I don’t want to be obsessed with pleasing myself; I desire a heart that is concerned about bigger and better things. Eternal things. Heavenly things.

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.”- Emilie Autumn.

This quote is one of my all-time favorite sayings. I’ve always assumed that Emilie Autumn would be a stoic Caucasian male who lived in the early-to-mid twentieth century and was drinking buddies with Ernest Hemingway. Out of curiosity, I googled Emilie Autumn today and discovered that she (not he) is a 35-year-old American new-age singer/violinist who has pink hair and somewhat resembles Lady Gaga.

Ernest Hemingway or Lady Gaga, it don’t matter.

There is so much truth in Autumn’s words.

I am a real thing.

I am real.

The fears that tie me down and keep me inside my box are not real. They don’t have to be. Even if they seem to be the realest things I know now, they will fade away one day.

Aveline, you know what is real and what is not. You know what matters and what doesn’t. When will you let down your defenses and go home?

In this world we will struggle, but You have overcome the world…There is life beyond what we see. All of this will disappear. We are strangers here.

We will see you face to face

and

all

will fade away.

-Meredith Andrews

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