love

love.

it hurts sometimes.

when you want so much good for the other person but they seem to do only what hurts them more.

when you watch them slowly change into someone else.

when you watch them push away everything that’s good for them.

when they hate what they used to be, but those are also those things you identify yourself with today.

when you used to tell them everything and they would listen, understand, and sympathize. but now you either can’t or don’t want to, because they don’t really care or don’t have the emotional energy to listen. they are struggling too much under the weight of their own burdens.

when you feel like you can’t be yourself around them because you know that if you say what you really think, it will hurt them. you’ve seen them shut down emotionally when others have unintentionally stepped on them, and it isn’t something you’d like to see happen again if you can help it. so you suffocate yourself and stop breathing because you’d rather hurt yourself than watch the other person go through more pain.

when you pretend to be emotionally and mentally stable in front of that person because you know that’s what they need you to be. but inside, you’re going crazy. the things they say to you make you sick. you don’t tell them, however, because that’s the last thing they need to hear.

when you’re so angry, confused, broken, frustrated, bitter, defensive, and so so sorry to see them like this. your emotions get so out of whack that you hardly know what to do with yourself.

when you are sick of talking about it. then you realize you don’t think of much else.

when you forget about it for days or weeks at a time yet deep down, you know your heart hasn’t forgotten and won’t forget.

when you feel like you’re living a bad dream, except, it’s not a dream. and it doesn’t end.

no. it goes on and on and on.

love.

it hurts sometimes.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s